Attack of the Killer DustBunnies
by Diviana Foresman
Summary: For Alia and Tsuki and Rika Quatre forgets to vacuuum one day...


Attack of the Killer Dust-Bunnies

Diviana

August 2003

dedicated to my close friends Tsuki and Tienna - hope this doesn't happen on your birthday

* * *

Wufei was turning sixteen today. He was the youngest of the five pilots, don't forget, only fourteen before the war's end, barely fifteen when the Marimaiya incident happened. Today was the twelfth of December, of the year after-colony one-nine-seven.

"Maxwell!"

"Oops, sorry!"

-crash- -thud-

"Ow!"

"Maxwell!"

"Fei-kun, look,"

-boom-

"Uh oh. Hee-chan's gonna kill for that one isn't he?"

"_I'm_ going to kill you if you don't leave me be!"

"Well soorry,"

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"No you-"

"Kakera (You guys)!" Quatre reprimanded, staring at them in astonishment as he stood in the doorway. His parlour was in shambles, the mirror broken, a dent in the wall. The table was overturned, the chair in pieces, Heero's laptop on the floor under the American, and Wufei sprawled on the sofa. "What happened?" The blond asked, helping Duo to his socked feet.

"I came in to say hi and Fei-kun just attacked me!" Duo cried, lower lip trembling. "I mean, all I ever do is try to be nice to the guy and he goes and throws me into the coffee table! I mean--"

"Duo," Quatre said patiently, "What exactly did you say?"

"Um..."

"Duo..."

He took a deep breath. "Ah-sed-mornin'-Fei-kun-whazzup-'n'-whatcha-doin'-'cause-I-wanna-know-'n'-isn't-it-borin'-sittin'-there-all-alone-and-shtuff-'cause-nobody's-here-and-you-must-be-pretty-bored-'cause-all-you're-doin'-is-sittin'-there-all-alone-and-shtuff-and-what-if-I-sit-with-you-'cause-that-way-you-won't-be-all-alone-and-then-you-won't-be-bored-'cause-it's-not-fun-being-bored-and-I-would-know-'cause-I'm-always-bored-so-how're-you?"

Quatre blinked. "Duo, go see if Abdul would like some help in the kitchen, alright?"

"Okay!" He perked up all of a sudden, grinning. "Hey, Kat, can I make waffles?"

"Sure, Duo, just clean up your mess, alright?"

"Great! Hey Fei-kun, guess what? Ah'm makin' waffles!" The American skipped out of the room, braid swinging back and forth bouncily. Quatre turned to the Chinese boy who had managed to sit up.

"What's your story?" he asked, placing Heero's laptop on the side-table.

"I was meditating," Wufei answered, righting the coffee table. "Maxwell came in and jumped on my lap chattering incessantly, so I pushed him off."

"And?"

"He fell onto the table, flipped over it and kicked the chair. The chair moved back so he fell because he was leaning on it and that caused the table to flip over. Maxwell, the stupid weakling, pushed the chair over when he went to get up so the table fell on it. He backed up into the side-table, knocked Yuy's damned computer over and tripped over it."

"Uh huh."

"You doubt the word of I?"

"No." Quatre sighed, "Just trying to understand where that boy gets all his energy." He sighed again. "Wish I had enough energy to do half the things he does sometimes." Wufei snorted.

"Ask Heero."

"How would he..." Quatre trailed off, eyes growing wide. "Oh..."

"You didn't know?" Wufei asked. The blond shook his head.

"Um... I thought... I thought it was you and Duo making all the sounds at night..." Wufei stared at him for a moment.

"Maxwell and... me?" he exclaimed. "Why in the _world_ would you think that?"

Quatre fidgeted. "Um... 'cause I thought Heero was with Trowa...?" There was a span of silence.

"I didn't know Barton was..."

"I said I thought, Wufei," Quatre corrected. "I mean, it's not like I've actually asked or... seen..." The Chinese boy's eyes went wide and he groped for a tissue. Quatre blushed as Wufei wiped the blood from his nose. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"Never mind that, Winner."

"Um... okay..." Quatre thought of something to say. "Are you finished meditating?"

"Yes, I suppose so. Why?"

"Well... I was thinking we could play a game."

"A game?"

"Yes," Quatre said. "As in fun."

"Fun." Wufei repeated.

"Yes," the blond said again, exasperated.

"What is this fun you speak of?" Quatre sweat-dropped.

"Uh..."

* * *

"Does it involve karaoke machines?" Trowa demanded.

"No."

"I'm in." He fell gracefully to the floor, legs crossing so he sat tailor-style.

"Great!" Quatre stalked out in hopes of finding Heero.

"Absolutely not."

"But Heero,"

"No."

"Heero,"

"No!"

"Allah-dammit!" Quatre yelled. "You will come down and play this game with us if it's the last thing you do! I swear to Allah I'll shoot you myself if you don't."

The Japanese boy sighed. "Fine."

"Good. And you better like it, too."

* * *

"Gah!" Duo fell backwards, groaning.

"I won again," Wufei said, somewhat confused. They were sitting on the floor of the living room around a board game, and the Chinese boy had won three times in a row.

Trowa smiled. "It was a good game."

Quatre looked at Heero expectantly. "Uhm... it, it was fun..." he said lamely, afraid of what the blond would do to him if answered with, "Hn."

Quatre grinned. "Good. I had fun, too. What about you, Duo? Did you have fun?" The braided American didn't answer. "Duo?"

He stared at something under the sofa, not moving. "Uhm... Quatre, do you have a cat?"

"No,"

"A dog?"

"No..."

"Anything alive and small enough to fit under this thing?"

"No, why?" the blond asked.

"'Cause there's something under here..." He managed to wiggle away from the sofa without breaking eye contact. The other four pilots looked at each other for a moment before getting on their knees and glancing underneath the sofa.

There, in the darkness, were several pairs of glowing red eyes. And then they moved.

"Ah!"

Quatre ran into the kitchen, being chased by a dog-sized grey blob of something. Heero stepped backwards only to flip over the coffee table as he let loose a barrage of bullet into one's head. Duo jumped up onto the chair near the window and whimpered as a handful of the creatures stalked towards him.

Wufei rushed up the stairs, three monsters following him. Trowa just stood there, bewildered.

"What the hell?"

Abdul screamed from somewhere past the kitchen, and several more yelps of pain were heard from various other Maganaks around the house. Surprisingly, the attacking creatures made no noise at all as they rolled down the hallways of the house after the forty-six humans living there at the moment.

"Help!" Quatre cried, running back into the living room to latch onto Heero.

"They won't die!" he argued back, kicking a creature away. It broke into several pieces that all turned to attack him.

"They're multiplying!" Duo yelled, pulling out his gun and shooting at them. The bullets went straight through them and left holes in the carpeting like Heero's had. Trowa swallowed, somewhat amused as Wufei slid down the banister screaming obscenities.

"Um, you guys..." he started.

"Stupid creatures, leave us be!" Wufei yelled, swiping at them with his sword.

"Don't kick them!" Heero warned over the din.

"The Maganaks are leavin'!" Duo called, watching through the window.

"What are these things!" Quatre demanded. He turned around to look at Trowa and was promptly attacked by several creatures. "Ah!" He fell onto his back and disappeared under the horde of grey fuzzy things.

Trowa blinked and rushed into the kitchen. He came back with a broom and dustpan and as he waved it towards Quatre, the grey creatures seemed to shriek and jumped off the blond.

The fuzzy things hid under the couch, glowing eyes watching the five carefully. But as Trowa turned to help Quatre stand, they scrambled out and onto his back.

"Holy shit!" Duo yelled again, and leapt onto Trowa's back, tearing at the things as Quatre backed up into a wall. Heero stood bewildered and Wufei suddenly caught on to what Trowa had realized. He ran up the stairs and came back, tumbling down the steps with a vacuum cleaner in hand. He managed to plug it in when the creatures transferred from Duo and Trowa to him.

"Yuy! Quick!" The Chinese boy tossed the vacuum tube to Heero before he hit the ground. Heero blinked, confused, as he caught the contraption easily. Trowa took it from him and put the hose right up to his own face.

"Turn it on, Wufei!"

The vacuum started after a moment, and a baseball-sized blob was pulled from Trowa's hair. It screamed as it was sucked down the tube, but more were already following it as Trowa turned the vacuum to Duo.

Wufei was left laying on the floor as the giant dust-bunnies ran away into the kitchen. Trowa ran after them, dragging the vacuum with him, and Quatre narrowed his eyes as he made a strange sound.

"Oh! I knew I forgot to have Ahmad do something! I should have told him to vacuum the carpeting! And now these dust-bunny things are coming after us!"

Duo patted his shoulder as Heero followed Trowa into the kitchen armed with the broom and dustpan. "S'okay, Kat, at least they can't harm us, right?"

The blond gave a small smile. "Well, at least they're not working for OZ..." Duo blinked and looked towards the kitchen doorway, half expecting a dust-bunny to be standing there in Treize's uniform. He had to grin at that mental image and shook his head as he helped Wufei stand up.

The three crept into the kitchen and found Heero beating a large pile of dust-bunnies with the broom stick. The pile moved, an "Ow!" rising from it, and a familiar-looking hand appeared grasping the vacuum tube. Heero's shirt got sucked in and he fell ontop of the creatures, who seemed to giggle, and Trowa let out another noise of pain.

Duo burst out laughing, falling to the floor, as Heero flailed about, squishing Trowa who was trying to vacuum up the dust-bunnies ontop of them both. Shaking his head, Wufei picked up the broom stick and slid it under Heero, lifting him up enough that Quatre could guide Trowa's hand to suck up the grey creatures.

As soon as all the creatures had been vacuumed up, including the ones who were hiding in the broom bristles, Heero took the bag out of the contraption and threw it in the sink. Wufei pulled out a match and tossed it in there after lighting it. The bag of dust-bunnies flared up and disappeared in a small puff of grey smoke, the paper crinkling a bit.

"Allah..." Quatre breathed.

"Yeah..." Duo agreed as they made their way back into the living room.

"So much for a quiet and peaceful birthday," Wufei muttered. Duo did an about-face, still walking.

"It's your birthday today? Man, why didn't you tell me!"

"Because, knowing you, you would probably hire a stripper to give me a birthday lap-dance - watch out!" Duo tripped over the board game they had left on the floor, pin-wheeled his arms as he staggered backwards. He hit the chair he had been standing on earlier, and fell to the floor, knocking it over.

"Oh crap," Heero mumbled as the action revealed the layer of newly-awakened dust-bunnies sitting on the bottom of the chair.

"Shiiiiet!" Duo cried, crawling over behind Quatre as the creatures attacked.

Trowa flipped over the other reclining chair to reveal even more dust-bunnies. Quatre raced into the kitchen to grab the vacuum cleaner as Wufei made a dejected face.

He sighed, shaking his head, and muttered under his breath, "Happy birthday Chang. Your present this year is a bag of killer dust-bunnies..."

* * *

owari

A/N: I own only the dust-bunnies under my desk and a handful I stole from the Totoro down the street


End file.
